Why I Love Chaucer

This is Chaucer.



Well, not really because it's a painting, and probably not even a very good likeness at that because it was done in the 15th century, after Chaucer died.

Ennyhoo. While there are many enjoyable things about The Canterbury Tales,  perhaps the greatest is Chaucer's deep love of fart jokes. So, for example in "The Miller's Tale," our main wench Alison is pursued by two suitors (despite being married) - Nicolas and Absalon. Absalon is kind of a fop, so clearly she goes for Nicolas, the sexy Oxford grad student.

Here's the setup. No wait. First, a vocabulary lesson, and then the setup.

ers = ass
yblent = blinded
buttok = buttock
fart = fart

Now you know Middle English. NOW, the setup.

Nicolas and Alison are lying in bed and Nicolas hears Absalon wooing Alison outside the window. Nicolas gets some ideas, so then you get this little vignette:

And up the wyndowe dide he hastily,
And out his ers he putteth pryvely
Over the buttok, to the haunche-bon;
And therwith spak this clerk, this Absalon,
"Spek, sweete bryd, I noot nat where thou art."
This Nicolas anon leet fle a fart
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
That with the strook he was almost yblent

That's Middle English, by the way. Here's an artist's representation:




I just wanted to use that picture.

Little does Nicolas know that Absalon is waiting with a hot iron from the smithy across the street,

And Nicolas amydde the ers he smoot.

Classic slapstick. Don't ever let anyone tell you the Middle Ages were all about humorless religious zealots and oppressive feudal squalor.